Understanding whether to write ourselves or ourself can feel incredibly confusing. English grammar is full of tricky rules, and this is a common one. Many writers struggle to choose the correct reflexive pronoun for their sentences. Using the wrong word can easily hurt your professional credibility. Let’s master this grammar rule right now.
The Core Rule Explained Simply
Here is the absolute basic truth. The word ourselves is the standard plural reflexive pronoun used for groups. You use it when referring to multiple people performing an action. The word ourself is a singular reflexive pronoun, often used when “we” refers to just one unnamed person. Modern grammar strongly favors the plural form for almost all everyday writing.
Here is a crucial detail. The concept of a reflexive pronoun is vital to understand here. It directs the action back to the subject of the sentence.
The Plural Standard
Ourselves is the widely accepted standard across all major style guides. You use it whenever “we” clearly represents two or more individuals.
The Singular Exception
Ourself remains rare and heavily debated among linguists. It strictly applies when the speaker uses the royal “we” or a gender-neutral singular pronoun.
Side-by-Side Comparison Table
Let’s look at a direct juxtaposition of these two tricky words.
| Word | Usage Context | Example Sentence | Acceptance Level |
| Ourselves | Plural subjects | We bought ourselves some lunch. | Universally accepted |
| Ourself | Singular “we” | As a monarch, we keep ourself busy. | Rarely used |
| Ourselves | Emphasizing groups | We did the heavy lifting ourselves. | Highly recommended |
| Ourself | Gender-neutral singular | A person must protect ourself. | Debated, often avoided |
Deep Dive into Category 1: Ourselves
This is your primary tool for everyday writing. The word ourselves correctly reflects the plural nature of the pronoun “we.”
Here’s why:
When multiple people share an experience, the reflexive pronoun must match that plural quantity. You will use this version in 99% of your professional and casual communications. It is safe, widely understood, and grammatically sound.
When to Use It
Use this word when your sentence involves a team, a couple, or any collective group. It works perfectly for emphasizing that a group completed an action without outside help.
Clear Examples
We painted the entire house by ourselves.
We need to give ourselves a break today.
Let’s keep this secret strictly to ourselves.
Quick Test Checklist
Are there multiple people involved in the subject “we”?
Does the sentence refer to a shared, collective action?
If you replace “we” with “they,” would you use “themselves”?
If you answered yes, use ourselves.
Deep Dive into Category 2: Ourself
This category requires much more caution. The word ourself is considered nonstandard by many modern spellcheckers.
Let’s make this concrete.
It exists primarily for situations where “we” functions as a singular entity. Writers typically encounter this in very old literature, formal decrees, or experimental modern writing addressing a singular, non-binary subject. You must use it sparingly.
When to Use It
Apply this word only when adopting the “majestic plural” or writing in a very specific, stylized singular context. It helps maintain a singular focus while using a traditionally plural pronoun.
Historical Patterns
Monarchs historically used “we” to represent the state. Therefore, they used ourself to refer to their single physical person.
Example: “We must prepare ourself for the royal address.”
The Meaning Shift
Choosing between these words changes the perceived number of subjects. Using ourselves signals a community or partnership to the reader. It feels inclusive and grounded in modern reality.
Look at this shift.
Using ourself abruptly isolates the subject into a single entity. It sounds lofty, archaic, or highly specialized. The subtle difference is entirely about quantity, shifting the reader’s mental image from a crowded room to a solitary figure.
Why the Confusion Persists
The English language is constantly evolving, leading to natural confusion. Many people hear both terms spoken aloud and assume they are interchangeable. Educational institutions rarely focus on the royal “we,” leaving students unaware of the distinction.
Here is the core problem.
The rise of singular “they” has sparked discussions about singular “we.” People naturally try to create singular reflexive pronouns, like “themself” and ourself, to match these evolving trends. However, formal grammar rules lag behind spoken habits, causing friction.
Formal vs Casual Contexts
Your environment dictates which word is appropriate. In casual conversations, saying ourself will likely confuse your friends or sound like a joke. Casual English demands the plural ourselves for almost every situation involving “we.”
Let’s examine formal contexts.
In strict academic writing, ourself is generally flagged as an error unless analyzing historical texts. Only in hyper-specific contexts, like legal documents involving a sovereign, does ourself find a legitimate, formal home. Always default to the plural form in business emails.
Case Studies and Pop Culture Examples
Real-world usage highlights this divide clearly. In the movie The Lord of the Rings, the character Gollum famously uses the plural “we” to refer to his split singular personality. He says, “We wants it for ourselves,” highlighting his fractured mind.
Look at another example.
Queen Victoria’s famous quote, “We are not amused,” perfectly illustrates the royal “we.” If she were to reflect an action back onto her singular person, she would grammatically use ourself. Modern authors rarely use this, except in fantasy novels featuring kings and queens.
Advanced Scenarios and Flowchart
Sometimes, you need a quick logical path to make the right choice. Use this text-based flowchart to determine the correct word for your specific sentence.
Start: Are you writing the sentence using the pronoun "we"?
If No: Use a different reflexive pronoun altogether.
If Yes: Does "we" refer to more than one actual person?
If Yes: Stop here. Use **ourselves**.
If No: Are you writing as a monarch or a sovereign entity?
If Yes: You may use **ourself**.
If No: Are you trying to use a gender-neutral singular pronoun?
If Yes: Rewrite the sentence to avoid the awkwardness, or cautiously use **ourself**.
Quick Reference Table
Here is a fast summary to keep your writing accurate.
| Subject Type | Correct Reflexive Pronoun |
| Standard Group (Plural) | Ourselves |
| Royal/Sovereign (Singular) | Ourself |
Common Mistakes That Lower Quality
Even experienced writers stumble over reflexive pronouns. One major mistake is using ourself as a simple typo when typing quickly. Spellcheckers will often highlight it in red, making the writer look careless if ignored.
Here is another frequent error.
People mistakenly use “our selves” as two separate words. While “selves” is a valid plural noun, the reflexive pronoun must always be a single, combined word. Getting this wrong instantly lowers the perceived authority of your content.
Memory Hacks That Actually Work
You need a reliable way to remember this rule. Think of the word “elves.” Elves are magical creatures that travel in groups. Therefore, ourselves is for groups.
Let’s try one more trick.
Think of the word “self” as a selfish, solitary person. Therefore, ourself is strictly for a single, isolated individual. Linking the spelling to the quantity makes recalling the correct grammar rule effortless.
Why Precision Matters
Grammar precision directly impacts your credibility as an author. Search engines favor high-quality, grammatically correct content that satisfies user intent. When you perfectly navigate the ourselves or ourself dilemma, you signal expertise to your readers.
Look at the bigger picture.
Trust is built on clear communication. Distracting grammar errors pull the reader out of your narrative. Getting the small details right proves that your larger arguments and facts are also reliable.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is ourself a real word?
Yes, it is a real word in the English dictionary. However, its usage is extremely limited to singular contexts, like the royal “we.”
Can I use ourself in a business email?
No, you should avoid it entirely in modern business communication. Always use the plural standard to maintain professionalism.
Why does my spellchecker flag ourself?
Most software is programmed to recognize modern, standard American or British English. Because the singular form is so rare, algorithms assume it is a typo.
Is it ourselves or our selves?
It is always one word when used as a reflexive pronoun. You only use two words if referring to the spiritual “selves” of multiple people.
Final Takeaway
Mastering reflexive pronouns drastically improves your writing clarity. When debating between ourselves or ourself, the plural form is almost always your winner. Reserve the singular form for those rare, historical, or royal exceptions. Write with confidence, stick to the standard rules, and watch your content quality soar.
