Choosing between who and whom can be confusing when you write an email, ask a question, or prepare a formal document. Both words refer to people, but they serve different grammatical roles. The main difference is that who is traditionally used as the subject of a verb, while whom is used as the object of a verb or preposition. Although both forms are correct, everyday English often favors who, even where traditional grammar recommends whom.
Quick Answer
Who refers to the person doing an action or serving as the subject of a clause. Whom refers to the person receiving an action or serving as the object of a verb or preposition.
| Word | Grammatical role | Example |
| Who | Subject | Who called you? |
| Whom | Object of a verb | Whom did you call? |
| Whom | Object of a preposition | To whom did you send the letter? |
| Who | Common conversational alternative | Who did you call? |
Both words are correct English. Use who in most everyday conversations, and consider whom in formal writing, especially after preposition.
If you often confuse these words, understand the difference between To and Too to write clearer, more accurate English sentences.
Meaning and Definition
Meaning of Who
Who is a pronoun used to ask about a person or identify someone. It usually refers to the person performing an action or the person who serves as the subject of a sentence or clause.
For example, in “Who opened the door?” you are asking which person performed the action of opening the door.
You can also use who to introduce information about someone, as in “The teacher who helped me was very patient.”
Definition of Who
Who is an interrogative or relative pronoun used to refer to people, particularly when they function as the subject of a clause. In contemporary English, it is also widely used as an object pronoun in everyday speech and writing.
In practical terms, use who when asking which person did something or when identifying someone by an action or characteristic.
Examples:
- Who is responsible for this project?
- Who sent you the message?
- The student who answered correctly received a prize.
Meaning of Whom
Whom is a pronoun used to ask about or refer to a person who receives an action or is connected to a preposition.
For example, in “Whom did you invite?” you are asking which person received the invitation.
You may also see it in formal expressions such as “to whom it may concern” and “the person with whom I worked.”
Definition of Whom
Whom is the objective form of who, traditionally used as the object of a verb or preposition. It is especially common in formal writing and constructions in which a preposition appears directly before the pronoun.
In everyday language, whom often sounds formal. Speakers frequently use who instead when the meaning remains clear.
Examples:
- Whom did the manager select?
- To whom should I address the application?
- The colleague whom I contacted replied immediately.
Main Difference
The main difference between who and whom is their grammatical function within a clause, not the person they refer to. Both refer to people, but traditional English grammar uses them in different positions.
| Feature | Who | Whom |
| Grammatical case | Subjective | Objective |
| Main function | Subject of a verb | Object of a verb or preposition |
| Typical question | Who called you? | Whom did you call? |
| After a preposition | Who are you speaking to? | To whom are you speaking? |
| Formality | Neutral | More formal |
| Everyday conversation | Very common | Less common |
Consider these two sentences:
- Who invited Sarah? The unknown person performed the action of inviting.
- Whom did Sarah invite? The unknown person received the invitation.
Notice that both sentences ask about a person. The difference comes from the role that person plays in the clause.
In modern English, people frequently use who instead of whom when speaking informally. That usage is widely accepted, even though traditional grammar distinguishes the two forms.
Which One Is Correct?
Both who and whom are correct. Neither word is inherently wrong. The right choice depends on its grammatical role and the level of formality.
Use who when the pronoun functions as the subject:
- Who is coming to dinner?
- Who wrote this report?
- I know who made the decision.
Use whom when it functions as the object in formal English:
- Whom did you invite?
- Whom should we contact?
- The person whom I interviewed was well prepared.
In everyday conversation, you can normally say “Who did you invite?” instead of “Whom did you invite?” The first version is natural and widely accepted.
Clear up confusion about past and present verb forms by learning the difference between Chose and Choose with simple explanations.
One important point: do not choose whom simply because a sentence sounds formal. It must fit the grammatical role of the pronoun. For example, “Whom is responsible?” is incorrect in standard grammar because the pronoun is the subject of is. The correct sentence is “Who is responsible?”
Grammar and Usage
Understanding subjects, objects, and prepositions makes the difference much easier to recognize.
1. Who as the Subject
The subject is the person or thing that performs an action or occupies the subject position in a clause.
Use who when the pronoun is the subject of the verb.
Examples:
- Who prepared the presentation?
- Who wants to join us?
- I wonder who is at the door.
- The employee who manages this department is on vacation.
In each example, who performs an action or serves as the subject of a verb.
2. Whom as the Object of a Verb
An object receives an action or completes the meaning of a verb.
Use whom in formal English when the pronoun functions as the object.
Examples:
- Whom did the committee choose?
- Whom are you waiting for?
- The author whom we interviewed shared useful advice.
- She asked whom the manager had selected.
In these sentences, the person referred to is the object of a verb such as choose, wait for, interview, or select.
In everyday speech, who is also common in these positions.
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3. Whom After a Preposition
A preposition is a word such as to, for, with, about, or from that expresses a relationship between words.
In formal English, use whom directly after a preposition when referring to a person.
Examples:
- To whom should I send the invoice?
- With whom did you travel?
- For whom was this gift purchased?
- The colleague with whom I worked has retired.
These constructions are especially useful in formal letters, academic writing, and professional documents.
In less formal English, the preposition often appears at the end of the clause, and who is common:
- Who should I send the invoice to?
- Who did you travel with?
- Who was this gift purchased for?
Both patterns can be natural, but the version with whom and a preceding preposition sounds more formal.
4. Who and Whom in Indirect Questions
An indirect question reports or introduces a question instead of asking it directly.
The same grammatical distinction applies inside the indirect question.
Use who when the pronoun is the subject:
- I know who called this morning.
- She asked who was responsible.
- Can you tell me who will attend?
Use whom when the pronoun is the object in formal English:
- I know whom the manager selected.
- She asked whom we had invited.
- Please tell me whom you contacted.
The key is to examine the smaller clause containing the pronoun, rather than looking only at the main sentence.
How to Use Who and Whom
You can choose between who and whom by identifying the pronoun’s role in its own clause. Two practical methods make this easier.
Use the He or Him Test
Replace the pronoun with he or him, or she or her. If the subject form sounds right, use who. If the object form fits, use whom in formal English.
For example:
- Question: Who called the office?
- Answer: He called the office.
- Correct choice: Who
Now consider another question:
- Question: Whom did you call?
- Answer: I called him.
- Correct choice: Whom in traditional grammar.
This test works because who corresponds to subject pronouns such as he and she, while whom corresponds to object pronouns such as him and her.
Identify the Pronoun’s Role Within Its Clause
A common source of confusion is the position of the pronoun in the complete sentence. Its grammatical role inside its own clause matters more than its position in the larger sentence.
Compare these examples:
- I know who won the competition.
- I know whom the judges selected.
In the first sentence, who is the subject of won. In the second, whom is the object of selected.
Both pronouns appear after the words I know, but they perform different functions in their respective clauses.
Examples
The following examples show how to use who and whom in everyday conversations, professional communication, and formal writing.
Examples of Who
- Who is waiting outside the classroom?
- Who sent you the invitation?
- Who will lead the meeting tomorrow?
- Do you know who left this notebook here?
- The woman who owns this store is very friendly.
- Who wants to order lunch?
- I wonder who made this decision.
- Who is responsible for updating the website?
- The student who answered the question received extra credit.
- Who can help me solve this problem?
- Could you tell me who is managing the project?
- The applicant who submitted the strongest proposal was selected.
In all these examples, who functions as a subject within its clause.
Examples of Whom
- Whom did you invite to the wedding?
- To whom should I address this letter?
- Whom did the hiring manager select?
- With whom are you traveling?
- The person whom I called did not answer.
- For whom are you buying this present?
- Whom did the committee appoint as chairperson?
- The professor whom I admire published a new book.
- She asked whom we had contacted.
- The client to whom I sent the proposal requested changes.
- Whom do you believe the team will choose?
- The colleague with whom I collaborated received a promotion.
These examples illustrate traditional object usage. In less formal English, who can replace whom in many of these sentences, especially when a preposition appears at the end of the clause.
Common Mistakes
Even experienced English speakers sometimes confuse who and whom. These are the mistakes worth watching for.
1. Using Whom as a Subject
Incorrect: Whom is coming to the party?
Correct: Who is coming to the party?
Why it happens: Some writers assume that whom is always more correct or more professional. However, who is the appropriate subject form.
2. Using Who After a Preposition in Formal Writing
Less formal: Who did you speak to?
Formal alternative: To whom did you speak?
Why it happens: Everyday English often places prepositions at the end of clauses. The first version is natural and acceptable in conversation. The second is preferred by many writers in formal contexts.
3. Choosing Whom Just Because a Sentence Is Long
Incorrect: I wonder whom will attend the conference.
Correct: I wonder who will attend the conference.
Why it happens: Writers sometimes focus on the formality of the entire sentence instead of examining the clause containing the pronoun. Here, who is the subject of will attend.
4. Ignoring the Verb’s Subject
Incorrect: The employee whom manages the office is absent.
Correct: The employee who manages the office is absent.
Why it happens: The writer may recognize that the sentence refers to an employee but overlook the role of the pronoun. Because who performs the action of managing, it is the correct choice.
5. Assuming Whom Is Always Required for Objects
Traditional formal usage: Whom did you invite?
Common everyday usage: Who did you invite?
Why it happens: Learners may think that the object form is compulsory in every context. Traditional grammar favors whom here, but modern English widely accepts who as an object in ordinary speech and writing.
Linguistic Insight
The distinction between who and whom is an example of grammatical case, which means that a pronoun can change form depending on its role in a sentence.
English retains this distinction in several personal pronouns:
| Subject form | Object form |
| I | Me |
| He | Him |
| She | Her |
| They | Them |
| Who | Whom |
For example, you would normally say “She called him,” not “Her called he.” The subject and object forms signal different grammatical roles. The same traditional pattern applies to who and whom.
However, English usage changes over time. In contemporary spoken English, the distinction between who and whom is less consistently maintained than the distinction between forms such as he and him. Many speakers use who in object positions, and listeners generally understand the meaning without difficulty.
This explains why whom remains recognizable in formal phrases such as “to whom it may concern” but may sound stiff in a casual conversation.
The important lesson is that traditional grammar describes the distinction, while actual usage helps explain why both forms appear in modern English.
Usage Tips
Use these simple tips to remember the difference between who and whom.
- Remember who = he or she. If you can replace the pronoun with he or she, choose who.
- Remember whom = him or her. If him or her fits the pronoun’s role, whom is the traditional choice.
- Check the clause, not just the full sentence. A pronoun may function as the subject of a smaller clause even when it appears inside a larger sentence.
- Look for a preposition. In formal writing, use whom after words such as to, for, with, and about when the pronoun is their object.
- Consider your audience. In formal reports, applications, and academic writing, whom may be appropriate. In everyday conversation, who is usually more natural.
- Do not overcorrect. Using whom where who is the subject creates an error, even if the sentence sounds formal.
Expert Suggestion
As a grammar teacher, I recommend learning the subject and object distinction before memorizing individual phrases.
When editing a sentence, first identify the clause containing who or whom. Then replace the pronoun with he or him to check its role. Finally, consider whether the context calls for formal or conversational English.
For example, “Who did you meet?” is perfectly natural in a conversation. In a formal report, “The candidate whom we interviewed had extensive experience” may be a better stylistic choice.
The goal is to write clearly and naturally, not to use the most formal-sounding word in every sentence.
Summary
Who and whom are both correct English pronouns, but traditional grammar assigns them different roles.
- Who is the subject form, used for the person performing an action or serving as the subject of a clause.
- Whom is the object form, traditionally used for the person receiving an action or following a preposition.
- The he or him test helps you choose between them.
- In formal writing, whom is particularly useful after prepositions, as in “to whom” and “with whom.”
- In everyday English, who is widely used in object positions and is generally acceptable.
- Avoid using whom as a subject simply to make a sentence sound more formal.
Once you understand the grammatical role of the pronoun and the tone you want to achieve, choosing between who and whom becomes much easier.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the main difference between who and whom?
Who is traditionally used as the subject of a clause, while whom is used as the object of a verb or preposition. For example, “Who called?” uses the subject form, while “Whom did you call?” uses the object form in traditional grammar.
Is whom grammatically correct?
Yes. Whom is a standard English pronoun. It is traditionally used as the object of a verb or preposition, especially in formal writing. Although it is less common in everyday conversation, it remains useful in formal questions and expressions such as “To whom it may concern.”
Is who always correct instead of whom?
No. Who is not the traditional choice when the pronoun functions as an object in formal English. However, modern English widely uses who in many object positions, particularly in conversation. It is also the correct form when the pronoun serves as a subject.
How do I know when to use who or whom?
Use the he or him test. If he or she fits the role, use who. If him or her fits, whom is the traditional choice. For example, “Who called?” matches “He called,” while “Whom did you call?” matches “I called him.”
Should I use who or whom in formal writing?
Use who for subjects and whom for objects when following traditional formal grammar. The distinction is particularly useful after prepositions, as in “To whom should I send the document?” In less formal writing, who is often accepted in object positions.
Is it who did you meet or whom did you meet?
Both are used. “Whom did you meet?” follows traditional grammar because the pronoun is the object of meet. “Who did you meet?” is widely accepted in contemporary English and sounds more natural in most everyday conversations.
Is it who should I contact or whom should I contact?
Both forms occur in modern English. “Whom should I contact?” follows the traditional object rule, while “Who should I contact?” is common and natural in conversation. For formal writing, whom may be preferred when you want to maintain the traditional distinction.
Do you use whom after a preposition?
In traditional formal English, yes. Use whom after prepositions when referring to people, as in “with whom,” “to whom,” and “for whom.” In conversational English, the preposition often moves to the end, and who is common, as in “Who did you speak with?”
Can whom be used in an indirect question?
Yes. Use whom when the pronoun functions as an object inside the indirect question, especially in formal English. For example, “I asked whom the manager had selected.” Use who when the pronoun is the subject, as in “I asked who had arrived.”
What is the difference between who, whom, and whose?
Who is traditionally the subject form, whom is the object form, and whose indicates possession. For example, “Who called?” asks about the subject, “Whom did you call?” asks about the object, and “Whose phone is this?” asks who owns the phone.
Is whom outdated?
No. Whom is still a standard English word, especially in formal writing and after prepositions. However, its use has declined in many conversational contexts, where who is commonly used instead. The word remains useful when traditional grammar or a formal style calls for it.
Can I start a sentence with whom?
Yes. You can start a question with whom when it functions as the object. For example, “Whom did the director select?” is grammatically correct in traditional English. You can also begin a formal question with a preposition and whom, as in “To whom should I address the letter?”
Is it whom I met or who I met?
Both are used when referring to someone you met. “Whom I met” follows traditional grammar because the pronoun is the object of met. “Who I met” is common in modern English. In many defining relative clauses, you can also omit the pronoun: “The person I met was helpful.”
Which is better for ESL learners, who or whom?
Start by learning who as the subject form and whom as the traditional object form. Practice the he or him test, then learn common formal expressions such as “to whom.” For everyday communication, using who in many object positions is generally natural and widely understood.
